Never Free: a mantis song

A bitter phrase crawls across my skin

Letting me know what’s really out there

and I take its harsh lessons

pour them over my head and walk on home

And I think to myself

‘what all am I trying to say, what all am I proving’

The answers come simple, nothing

And nothing is all I’ll ever be

And cross the bridges

I’ll wander, roaming but never free

With gentle autumn breezes

cooling the sweat from my brow

and I’ll know the taste of water

But I’ll never be free

Thru the dried up meadows

I’ll be reminded of

my time and thoughts

everything I ever put into you

into the closets and rooms

so clearly open

begging to be shut

but the doors will stay, open and ashamed

of their oak wood furnish

rotted away and eaten by mites

their beauty could never be free again

In ageless hymns

I wake up

Sounding off another day

And I speak to you

But no one ever listens

So here I am, shouting

Shouting at the ocean blue sky

reflecting my hopes and broken heart

The last question I ask

the last thing I will wonder,

‘could I be the one?’

As this torn man expected

No answer ever came

There’s never anyone there to answer

Never anyone there to let me know

the truth in my question

I’ve only myself and my answers are skewed

And more than that there’s never anyone there

to hold me,

to love me,

to die with me,

to dream with me,

There’s never anyone there,

There is only me, and I will never be free

never be free of you